Wednesday, May 21, 2014

The future

How do I not think about the future?

While Will was in the NICU, I was completely focused on getting him home. That was our main goal. Now that he's home, I'm plagued with thoughts of the future.

Will he walk? Will he always have his G tube? Will he sit? Can he see? What can he see? Will he swallow tomorrow? Will he stop breathing tonight? Can he hear?  Will he talk? Does he hurt?

I am grateful he is alive. And that, by itself, is a miracle. I want to remain grateful and be content to just have him here.

It is a constant decision to turn it over to the Savior and let it go. But right now, I am failing.

2 comments:

  1. I just wanted to thank you for your courage and your blog. We lost our son last year and have been sorting through the pieces ever since. We finally reached the point where we feel ready for another try. I know every journey is two steps forward and one back (or six or seven). Thank you for letting me lean on your faith for a bit. You and your family are in my prayers as you work and worry.
    -M

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  2. I fail at this constantly too. Having a child that has large hurdles to overcome is very difficult. You are amazing!

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