Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Our boy

When a heart has been shattered into a million pieces, is it possible for those pieces to fit back together?

One by one, I start the process. Sometimes a piece doesn't quite fit, so I try again the next day.

I believe with all my heart that God loves me. I know it, but I also believe it. He planned to have this perfect boy join our family. He just had to get here a different way.

The tears we shed and the joy we feel is indescribable. After a few months of talking with an amazing woman, we are told that we have been chosen. Chosen to be the parents of another child of God. Chosen to love and raise this boy with compassion. This boy. This angel.

My heart swells at the thought. Am I really going to have another baby this soon? Am I ready? In a way, I've never been more ready for anything. But there's a part of me that is terrified to open my heart. The pain of having my heart torn from me time and time again has left me fragile and apprehensive. But without love, without vulnerability, am I really living?

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