I stand by the front door holding my baby Will close. The medical examiner standing on the porch extending his arms toward me. I know what I need to do but don't know if I can do it. It's time to place my precious boy into the arms of a stranger, watch as he carries him away, then places him in his truck. My arms instinctively tighten around Will's body and my heart feels like it's being ripped out. The medical examiner patiently waits as a battle continues in my mind. My head tells me it's time to let him go, but my heart won't accept it. Tyler puts a hand on my back as I secure Will's blanket around him and finally place him in the man's waiting arms. He promises to be gentle. He promises to keep him warm in his blanky. But I can hardly hear what he's saying. I turn around as the door closes and Tyler envelops me in a tight embrace. We stand there together clinging to each other. The enormity of what has happened crashes down on us.
Our sweet boy is gone.
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